


Together Until the End

by featherlight221b



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/featherlight221b/pseuds/featherlight221b
Summary: If your soulmate dies before you, they turn into a ghost that only you can see and stay with you until your death. How ironic it is that L turns out to be Light's soulmate.





	Together Until the End

_Soulmate is a person meant for you_. Not someone meant to _love_ you. Not someone who you’re destined to be with. Not somebody who will always be there for you, care for you, need you, respect you and admire you despite your flaws. No. The definition of the word ‘soulmate’ was just a short sentence that didn’t really explain anything. What was _meant for you_ even supposed to mean? Someone who completes you? Understands you? When Light was a small child, his mother told him, that one day, he would meet his soulmate and that it would change his life forever. _Once you meet your soulmate, you stay together_ , she told him, _no matter how hard things are, how many times you get separated, fate makes sure that you find your way back to each other_. Apparently, it was true. He had heard many stories of how people found their soulmates and since that moment, were always with them. Even death wasn’t something that could break such a strong bond. If your soulmate died, they would still continue to exist as a ghost that only you could see, waiting for you to pass away. It used to sound wonderful, magical even. A seven year old kid was enchanted by the stories about soulmates. But now, Light found the idea of a soulmate extremely inconvenient. How could anyone be happy about being stuck with another person? A person they could never completely get rid of. It didn’t seem like something good. It was horrible.

When Misa first proclaimed her love for him, Light’s first thought was _this can’t be my soulmate._ But then again, what exactly _was_ a soulmate? _A person meant for you._ Well, both of them owned death notes. You could say they had been brought together by fate. And while he didn’t love the girl, thoughts like _what if_ appeared in his mind a few times. Misa being his soulmate, as unpleasant as that sounded, would explain a few things, like why he couldn’t afford getting rid of her.

It had never even crossed his mind that his soulmate would be L. That bastard, the bane of his existence, his equal and the only thing standing between Light and succeeding in creating a new, better world. Yes, it did make sense. They weren’t much different, he had heard that a few times and could see it himself. They were both geniuses and they understood each other. They were _literally_ stuck together when L handcuffed himself to Light for some time. And yet, he never even thought about it.

That is, until L’s ghost appeared beside him just as Light finished announcing that he would find Kira and avenge Ryuuzaki’s death. His eyes widened in shock and he froze for a second, before remembering that he needed to act natural, no matter what. The fact that he could see L just after the man’s death and that no one else seemed to noticed his presence, could mean only one thing. And thank goodness that Light had a very strong willpower, because otherwise he would scream at the thought that he couldn’t get rid of L even by killing him and that the man would now forever be by his side, looking at him judgingly, probably being smug about the fact that he was right and that Light was, in fact, Kira.

Light was absolutely certain that he didn’t love L. Hell, he didn’t even like him. He loathed him wholeheartedly and had wished for his death since the moment the man first spoke to him. They were enemies. Rivals. Them being soulmates was an absurd.

But then again, _soulmate is a person meant for you_. Not someone you are meant to love. And there was no one else who Light considered to be his equal. Who he had so much respect for, despite hating their guts. Whose very existence pissed him off constantly, but still provided some sort of entertainment in this boring, rotten world.

“It appears that Light-kun is my soulmate,” L’s ghost spoke once Light was back in his room, alone.

Light ignored him. He glanced at Ryuuk, wondering if Shinigami could see people’s ghosts. Probably not, because if they could, Ryuuk would be laughing his ass off at the irony of this situation.

“I’m also one hundred percent sure now that Light-kun is Kira,” L spoke again.

Light didn’t spare him a glance, instead staring stubbornly at the ceiling of the bedroom.

“Is Light-kun going to keep ignoring me?” the ghost asked.

“Do you expect me to actually _want_ to have a conversation with you?” Light hissed, his voice giving away how irritated he was (it wasn’t like there was any point in acting now).

Ryuuk looked at him questioningly.

“Huh?” asked the Shinigami.

Damn it.

“I’m not talking to you,” said Light, leaving the creature even more confused.

Finally, he sat up on his bed and looked at L, who was sort of floating in the air in that weird sitting position of his.

“I don’t expect you to want to talk to me right now. There’s a high chance that you’re very frustrated at the moment,” said L, the tone of his voice slightly different now.

Light watched him carefully. The ghost looked calm and indifferent, but he couldn’t be. No, he was possibly just as distressed as Light felt. After all, what kind of a normal person wouldn’t be miserable after finding out that their soulmate was their mortal enemy who had managed to defeat them and bring to their end? Well, L wasn’t exactly a normal person, but still. He was a human. He could surely feel some emotions. Of that, Light was certain. He could see L’s eyes when the man was dying. For the first time since they met, Light could see something in them except for blankness. They were practically glowing with emotions back then.

“Well, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I am. It’s upsetting to find out that your first friend is a mass murderer and intentionally caused your death,” said L.

“I thought you _wanted_ me to be Kira,” Light raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t want to be wrong about you being Kira. And I wasn’t.”

“Good for you,” Light rolled his eyes.

Ryuuk stared between him and the spot where L’s ghost was floating. After a few seconds, realization seemed to dawn upon him and he started cackling like crazy.

“Oh man, did L turn out to be your soulmate?” he asked, extremely amused. “That’s hilarious!”

Light sighed heavily. What had he ever done to deserve this kind of torture?

* * *

 

Despite L staying by his side as a ghost, things were much easier than before. Light accepted his role as the new L and continued his work as Kira. Of course it was somewhat annoying how he could feel the other’s glare on him _all the time_ , but soon he realized that the whole soulmate thing was probably even worse to bear for the other man. After all, how awful it had to be for Ryuuzaki to know that he was right, and yet not be able to do anything about it? It filled Light with satisfaction. It reminded him that even though faith decided to pull some sick joke on him, he still had won.

At L’s funeral, he didn’t cry. Oh no, he was elated. And the knowledge that L’s ghost was there with him, watching his own grave, listening to Light faking grief, it made everything so much better. He could practically feel Ryuuzaki boiling inside as he spoke the last words of his little speech:

“I will get Kira executed,” Light announced to everyone present, making sure that his voice was emotionless and cold, hiding mourning for a dear friend and hatred for Kira.

“Those words suggests that Light-kun will make a mistake that will get him caught,” commented L’s ghost. “Is Light-kun admitting that he has flaws and is not a god?”

Annoying in life, annoying in death as well. Oh well. It didn’t matter now. It didn’t matter, because L had _lost_ and there was no one in Light’s way now. Now, the new, better world would be born and there wouldn’t be anyone to stop him. There was no one left who didn’t trust him, who would even think about believing the suspicions of him being Kira.

After the task force had left him alone, he let himself show his true feelings. He laughed. The joy he was withholding appeared on his face.

“I won!” he cackled. “You _lost_ , L! You finally lost! It’s over!”

People are different, but nobody wants anyone to be happy at their funeral. Everyone wants at least a little to be mourned, to be missed. Oh, how good it felt to know that his enemy didn’t get to see everyone attending his funeral in grief. Instead, he got to see his equal, his soulmate, and – according to L himself – his first friend ever, laughing with delight.

Light turned to look at the ghost, grinning like a madman.

“You were a good rival. But you were doomed from the second you got involved in the Kira case,” he told him. “Well, how does it feel? Witnessing your own funeral? Must be interesting, isn’t it?”

L didn’t reply.

* * *

 

The Kira investigation didn’t make any progress, for obvious reasons. Or at least obvious to Light. More and more criminals died, and the crime rate got lower and lower. And while no one was willing to voice it out loud, the world slowly fell into an age where the law was Kira’s will. Light’s goal was closer than ever before. Most people were way too terrified to commit crime. The utopia he wanted to create wasn’t just a dream anymore.

“The things are going the way Light-kun has planned,” L spoke up one day. “But is Light-kun happy?”

With time, both geniuses accepted the fact of being each other’s soulmates. Light got used to Ryuuzaki always being there, making irritating comments from time to time, but providing some kind of entertainment as well. L, on the other hand, seemed to not be as bitter as he used to be about losing to Kira. Something about it felt a little off, but maybe death simply worked that way. Well, it wasn’t as if the ghost could actually do anything.

“What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki? Of course I’m thrilled that my plan is working,” he replied.

“That’s not what I was asking,” L protested. “Does Light-kun actually feel real _happiness_ anymore?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” asked Light, confused.

“Light-kun doesn’t seem truly happy. Satisfied that his achieving his goal, yes. But the happiness you feel is the twisted kind, that doesn’t bring you real joy. Can Light-kun even remember how being happy felt like before you found the death note?”

It took him some time to realize it, but yes, happiness _did_ use to feel different. But the happiness he felt now was better. It was the true one.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “The happiness I feel now may be slightly different from the one I used to feel, but it’s still happiness.”

“I see.”

“I’m sure I still feel much happier than _you_ do.”

“I don’t have any reasons to feel joy, do I?” asked L.

“You don’t,” said Light, a smirk creeping onto his face. “You’re welcome.”

* * *

 

At some point, L’s presence became sort of comforting in this world filled with fools. After all, there was no one else who Light could ever consider his equal. And in times of boredom, Ryuuzaki was the person who he could turn to, who he could talk to, discuss various things and who made arguments over trivial things interesting.

“The color of this dress doesn’t match well with her eyes,” said L, commenting on the dress that Light had bought for Misa.

“Since when are _you_ a fashion expert?” Light snorted.

“Anyone could see that this dress is hideous,” L insisted.

“If it’s from me, Misa will love it anyway,” Light shrugged.

“Why did Light-kun even buy this dress and didn’t put any effort into choosing a better one?” Ryuuzaki asked.

“It’s Misa’s birthday. It would be suspicious if I didn’t got her anything.”

“Ah, yes. Because awful presents aren’t suspicious at all,” L muttered sarcastically.

“Shut up, will you?” Light glared at him.

“What is it? Doesn’t Light-kun enjoy his conversations with me?”

He did. A bit. But there was no way in hell he was ever going to admit it.

“No.”

* * *

 

As time passed, L had dropped the ‘-kun’ and ‘Light-kun’ became just ‘Light’. Light became comfortable around his soulmate and grew to enjoy his company. It was sort of nice. From time to time, L tried to convince him to stop, to burn the death note, but they both knew that it was pointless. And maybe, along the way, they even became something that could be described as ‘friends’. Of course their relationship wasn’t healthy, it never had been. While Light and Ryuuzaki could get along just fine, Kira and L were rivals, enemies, and their mission was to bring the other down. Light was the one to cause L’s death, and after four years, Light still took great pleasure in watching Ryuuzaki’s pain at seeing Kira dictate what justice was, and he knew that L was just as thrilled whenever Light was wrong about something. They didn’t trust each other. Ryuuzaki was still conviced that Kira was nothing more but a murderer. So what they had wasn’t exactly healthy, but they were fine with it.

“Hey, L?” Light asked one day.

“Yes?” L looked up from where he was floating in the air, chewing on his thumb.

“So what’s your real name?” he asked.

He was met with silence. L just stared at him, quietly. Light rolled his eyes.

“You’re already dead, telling me won’t change anything,” he pointed out.

“It won’t. But it’ll be strange, revealing my name after not telling anyone for so long,” L muttered.

“Well, I’m your soulmate. I think I deserve to know your name,” said Light.

“Light is also a serial-killer,” L noticed.

“If they catch me, you’re right. If they don’t, I’m justice.”

“A megalomaniac serial-killer,” Ryuuzaki added.

Light let out a sigh, and came back to writing down names in his death note. It amazed him that there were still some people left who thought they would get away with committing crimes. It was obvious that they wouldn’t. Not under Kira’s reign.

“Lawliet,” L spoke up suddenly.

“What?” Light asked, looking up from the death note.

“You wanted to know my real name,” said L. “L Lawliet.”

Light stared at him for a moment.

“Okay,” he said eventually, not sure if he should say anything else.

* * *

 

“Light. Have you ever actually considered me a friend?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“A normal one, I believe.”

Light frowned. Why would it matter? They were enemies. He killed L. There was no place for friendship in his life so even if he did consider Ryuuzaki a friend, it wouldn’t change anything.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

“It does,” said L.

Light hesitated for a moment.

“I did. During the time I didn’t remember I was Kira,” he said.

L stared at him for a moment.

“I can’t tell if Light is lying or telling the truth.”

Light himself wasn’t sure either.

* * *

 

“You knew, didn’t you!? It was a part of your plan all along!”

“Of course. From the beginning I was aware of the fact that I may die during the Kira case.”

Light was furious. He was so sure that nothing would be in his way ever again. And then, Near contacted him. And to think he believed that dead L was a powerless L. No, the man found way to mess with him even in his death. Of course some kid who was supposedly the great detective’s successor wasn’t enough to stop Kira. Still, it was a large inconvenience.

“I hate you. I hate you so much,” he hissed.

“I see Light is finally being honest. That’s a rare occurrence,” said L.

“You bastard! You fucking bastard!” Light shrieked.

He was glad that Misa wasn’t home yet, because he didn’t think he could contain himself from screaming in rage.

“Did you expect me to inform you of this?” L raised an eyebrow. “Despite the fact we’re soulmates, you’re still Kira and I still wish to see you captured.”

“Oh I’m sure you’d be thrilled to see me executed,” Light snarled at him.

L just stared at him with that infuriating blank expression of his on his face.

“Well, are you going to say something!?” Light asked.

“I won’t be happy to see you die,” the ghost replied.

“Really?” Light snorted, his voice sarcastic.

“However, I’m not happy to see you kill people either.”

Light crossed the room and slapped L in the face. He didn’t expect it to actually have any effect, after all Ryuuzaki was a ghost now, but to his astonishment, his hand hit the flesh of his soulmate’s face, and L frowned slightly, pain flashing in his eyes.

A moment later, L was kicking him in the stomach, hard. Light frowned, then punched the ghost. In return, L attempted to twist his wrist, but Light wriggled out of his hold. For a few seconds, they stood in the middle of the room, staring at each other.

“So I guess I can still hurt you then, huh?” Light said.

“I suppose so,” confirmed L.

“Good.”

With that, he punched L in the gut. Ryuuzaki grabbed him by the arms quickly and slammed him against the wall, anger flaring in his eyes. They stared at each other again.

Light watched L carefully. It was so frustrating, to have the man still bother him. Why couldn’t he just die for good, without returning as some freaky ghost could apparently still touch him? Damn L.

“I hate you,” he said once again.

Something in L’s expression changed.

“I know,” he replied quietly.

* * *

 

Light hadn’t felt sorrow for a long time. However, watching his father die moved something inside him. Yes, he was acting in the hospital. Most of all, he felt frustration and anger. But it didn’t change the fact, that there was a feeling of grief in his heart.

“Light… I still have them... the Shinigami eyes,” Soichiro said. “According to that Shinigami… Ryuuk… I can’t see the life span of someone who owns a notebook… but… I can see the numbers above your head… Light… you really aren’t Kira... I’m so glad… my son…”

For the first time since Light started writing down criminals’ names, he felt the tiniest pang of guilt. But it was for the better that his father would die not knowing that his son was Kira. And there was no way of telling him without giving himself away.

“Come on… you shouldn’t talk so much, Dad,” he said instead.

He could feel L’s glare boring into his back, but he ignored that. He had bigger things to deal with right now. His father knew Mello’s real name. He had to somehow get him to write it in death note while he still had the time.

“I’m… so sorry… but in the end I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to kill him,” Soichiro said.

“Your father is an example of a truly good man,” commented L’s ghost. “Isn’t it sad? Him dying, convinced that his son isn’t and never was Kira.”

Screw L. Now, what should he do? Could he ask his father to write Mello’s name down just like that? Maybe he could… After all, no one would blame him for feeling vengeful in a moment like this.

“Come on, Dad, write his name! You can’t let him beat you like this! Write his name down with your last bit of strength! _Do you wanna die in vain_!?” he shrieked, faking panic.

But it was too late. Soichiro’s eyes were already closing and Light felt the crushing weight of defeat.

The worst thing was the pitiful look L kept giving him afterwards.

* * *

 

Light didn’t feel guilty lying to Takada, saying that they obviously had to be soulmates. He didn’t feel guilty when Mello died. He didn’t feel guilty plotting to kill Near. He could see the sorrowful look on L’s face, but he ignored it. After all, they never were friends in the first place, were they?

* * *

 

Light didn’t know which one was worse – dying, or knowing that he lost. That Near won, that _L_ defeated him. He was Kira. He was supposed to be the god of the new world. So why was he dying? It was terrifying. Feeling his life fading slowly, not knowing what would come next.

“It looks like it’s the end,” said L, whose ghost was crouching beside him.

“Fuck you. I hate you… I hate you so much,” Light choked out, his voice cracking.

“Light is joining me soon. I’m glad that Kira is dying, but like I’ve said, I don’t feel any joy, seeing you pass away.”

Why? Why did it have to end like that? What had he done wrong? What did he do to deserve that fate? All he ever wished to do was make Earth a decent place for good people. For those who he deemed worthy of the privilege of living.

“In the end, I suppose both of us lost,” said L.

“I hate you…” Light repeated, before whispering. “I don’t want to die.”

“I know.”

L reached out his hand in Light’s direction. Light didn’t know why, but he took it anyway, gripping it tight.

“What happens now?” he asked quietly. “Do we just… stop existing?”

“I suppose we’re about to find out,” stated L, his voice sad.

And so he waited. He let L’s ghost stroke his hair and hold him tight as everything slowly faded away.


End file.
